Category Archives: musings

A Dweam Wiphin A Dweam

The duet; Bridget and Elizabeth. We see a new apparatus that allows us to swing in large arches. I desire skimming my feet on a smooth floor as I swing to and fro. I want to swing up high then find the floor really really low. I want it to feel like the silence after a gasp. If we could be over water it would be too perfect…site specific performance anyone? I have movements in my imagination that are flounce, buoyant with high suspensions. There are also low, low spirally skitters across the floor.
This is the kind of work I want to make. I want this challenge; breaking the bounds of circus and contemporary dance. It feels organic and sensual to imagine; the dream world we can create that exists between these realms.
Until we meet again E-Roe! Very soon!!

warning: slightly incoherent dancer geekery ahead

Last night, Jill and I sat talking about being an aerialist versus being a dancer. The anatomy of aerial. The shortening and lengthening of lines… What is holding oneself in space? I mean, what is it to the body? And holding oneself up on the floor? What is release technique in the air? What is lifting off the ground? She showed me old videos of herself from before she was an aerialist, and I saw myself in the way she moved then, as now… sameness walks ahead of us so often.

She said to me, “I need to dance like this again.”

These inquiries are what make the process interesting to us, I think. Infusing aerial technique with a dancer’s awareness.

But it doesn’t feel the same. Your body changes and adapts to aerial and you can’t change it back. In dancing, lines are long, spirals are recognized, initiations are fulfilled. Defying the laws of physics and fighting gravity… feels like physical deception. Sometimes. Where are my spirals then? My center is shortened– higher. My arms are never easy, my fingers always curl, sending energy back in to my hands instead of out beyond. The look of ease is just a look. The work of suspension is more than that of standing, because it has to be. Because the shoulders aren’t connected bone to bone the way the pelvis is. It’s not metaphysical. Just plain physical.

But what if, as we hang and lift, the spirals simply shift– into the palms then into the apparatus? What if we yield our energy up instead of down? What if the “ballet spaces” are widened by gravity when we are hanging– there’s no floor to stop expansion, after all. What if the work is not what we focus on, but the feeling of height, large-ness, being able to reach energy up and down much further into space than when we had the floor to fall into? Then make gestures as poignant as those we made while standing– choreograph with twists that twist “up into” instead of “down into”, with gestures that happen in our feet, which are free… Articulate the same thoughts in different physical places. Then, being in the air becomes less confining — not an obstruction to movement, just a place of different abilities.

I think of this when I’m on the floor.

Now, if I could only think of being on the floor when I’m on the floor, like everyone else… now that would be something.

itchy feet

thinking about the twisted train solo …. dirt and anticipation, fear and itchy feet….i wanted to leave today. this town feels too small sometimes, but i guess even new york city can feel small if you never leave your own little circle. i found this awesome antique caboose once, somewhere north of seattle. it had a bed, a furnace, little dining table, and a cool seat that was situated up high in front of a window so that you could see what’s coming down the tracks. sometimes i wish i had a view like that of my own life, and of the creative process in particular. More often than not it’s more like my head is in the furnace wondering what’s cooking and praying we don’t derail.
I’m happy get back to work, but i’ll be even more happy to start working on a new show. I crave some kind of narrative, or at least a definite atmosphere. no.1 felt like a bunch of separate pieces of cloth that will never quite be one thing no matter how artfully you try to weave them together. ) Nevertheless, i think that’s okay to have a patchwork as a first show….i’m just impatient and like i said before, i have itchy feet 馃檪
good thing we’re going to NYC!!!! Yay!

on feb. 14

We are entangled. We have convoluted weight shifts. All that effort feels good. And ease? That could feel good…to execute and to witness. Laban theory I learned through modern dance training clarifies possibilites. Laban categorized Effort in Flow: free or bound, Weight: light or strong, Time: sustained or quick. Space: direct or indirect.
Is the movement fluid or restrained? How much weight should I put into this? Am I floating or thrusting? Gliding or slashing? Dabbing or wringing? Flicking or pressing? We are open to a myriad of movements. These movements all have vast emotional content. Do we make that jumpy, allegro piece that we talk about? We will delve deeper and look closer at the edges of circus and dance and what qualities these disciplines sustain that make them distinct. We deconstruct again and reconstruct again. The story lies within it all girls, let’s try to not overanalyze it. Easily said…


hanging out at the studio today, we got a very complicated, effort-full way of getting each other from one side of the stage to the other…’s all effort, the difference is in how much we allow you to see…. can you force choreography to tell a story, or does the movement just come out and tell you which story it wants you to get out on the table? uuuuuuhhhhh….i’m happy with the progress and the transitions we’re working on, but who is going to be there to carry bridget to the fabric? does this make sense that the manipulated (elizabeth) teams up with the manipulators and then becomes the last one? i feel like the only constant role is that our roles are constantly changing. sounds about right…..



n. The quality or condition of being authentic, trustworthy, or genuine.

(The American Heritage庐 Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright 漏 2009 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.)

What would happen if all our relationships were based on physical touch? On lifting, heaving, pushing, tipping, rolling, moving… each other. Around. On complete physical honesty. On what CAN you do with your body? With mine?

I am just wondering if what is for us the everyday experience of total physical authenticity is what informs the authenticity of our friendships in the moments when we are still. Making them “intense”, sometimes exhausting. Maybe it’s the work of remaining authentic in our conversations as we are in our movement, when our tendency is to do the familiar duck and cover behind the words, words, words. We’re so trained. Our scripts so engraved on our sweet little hearts… It’s just easier, our old brain says.

But it isn’t. You end up misaligned. At cross-purposes with yourself.

Our minds can make a lie out of every nanosecond, but our bodies never do. Can’t do. It’s why dance exists as an artform. Because people couldn’t get authentic enough with words. I’ve always wanted to be one of those people for whom dance is enough. Maybe I will be someday, still.

Bridget- Trifecta Complete

I started this sentence three times before I decided I would not delete it again. Yes, it’s me, the tall one. The impulsive one, almost a loose cannon. Kaboom. Ideas spew from mouths, we listen. Yay or nay or that’s totally gay. We let each idea have it’s time and we try it out in the studio. We work well like that:
Oh oh I know! I could catapult you across the space and Jill would be there to catch you, and using the momentum, spin around to slide you back across the floor where you would find me, having transitioned back onto the trap, dangling and obstructing you. You push up into a handstand so that we are both inverted, then you go into your toehang beside mine and Jill flings herself and we could base her there. What do you think? That’s totally gay.
We want something fresh. Fusing circus and dance is not a new concept. These are not just tricks and this is not just emotive dance. We have our own brand. We break it down to it’s smallest parts…until a toehang is just a toehang and you are watching me do it and I see you watching me do it. What?
We want to bring “no.1” to other places so that we can stare at our audience, self-aware and completely confrontational and ready to talk about the fact that every toehang is just a fucking toehang. We are real, we sweat and try hard, we have mood swings and dream of running away and never coming back. We bite down and conquer and stand on tops of mountains. We know how it feels to be human and we know that you feel it too.